Friday 28 August 2009

New hair, new 'me'...

I've been getting very upset lately. I hate the way I am now...I've always had a 'style', and since I've been pregnant/a mummy, I have none.

I used to be quite an individual -- I had pink/blonde hair, did my make up SOOO funky, and wore whatever the hell I wanted! I loved the way I was, and despite my 'normal' friends' reservations, I got more compliments on my looks than at any other point in my life.

My hair all fell out the last time I bleached it, so I cut it all off to the roots, and began growing my hair. This continued as I was pregnant, and now I'd like it long and natural for the wedding...but I am SOOO bored with it! I told Mark months ago that as soon as we get married, I am going to chop my hair off and bleach it, and right now, I could get married tomorrow if it meant I could cuy my hair off!!!

Also, with the whole clothes thing...when I worked at the spud shop, I worked 8 am-6:30 pm six days a week, and lived alone so would get into my PJs if I wasn't going on the razzle, so really had no need for 'everyday' clothes and just spent ALL my money on going out clothes. This only stopped really when I got pregnant, and then I wore maternity clothes. I'm not quite back into my pre-pregnancy clothes yet, and if I'm honest, there's not much I could wear in the daytime anyway as like I said, they were mainly for going out. So, as I've been slowly losing weight, I've been buying clothes that are basically the cheapest I can find so that I'm not spending loads of money on clothes I am not going to be wearing for long...

...as a result of all this, I feel like I have lost 'me'...I wear what's around, and what I can afford, with no thought of the way it makes me look really. It's hard.

So, I have been fighting the urge for the last couple of days in particular to have all my hair chopped and bleached, and have decided to go halfway and have a big emo 'do so that it's still funky, and I can do my eyes funky again without looking stupid (with my normal hair at the moment, if I put any colour other than brown on them, I look like a drag queen)...and here's what I'm *hoping* it will look like (but in my natural colour so still suitable for the wedding):












and of course, these are completely un-doable but my GOD I'd love hair like this:




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